Yesterday I went to the early matinée at Tinseltown and saw 28 Weeks Later. It had a few nagging inconsistencies and a bit of discontinuity from 28 Days Later, but overall it was a really good zombie flick. (The unintentional comic relief was when a couple of little old ladies walked into our theater by mistake during a really intense scene -- their reaction was classic.) But anyway, the movie reinforced for me something that I've known in my heart for a long time -- it pays to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse and I've just been slacking.
There are a lot of practical considerations to zombie preparedness. I look around my house and there are entirely too many windows, no firearms and nothing sturdy enough to use as an impromptu blunt weapon, except maybe the fire extinguisher. I have a camping axe, but it's out in the garage and let's face it, the zombies aren't going let me call a time-out and then wait for me to go get it. I could stash it under the mattress, but that might seem just a little weird.
Duct tape, plastic sheeting, potable water and MREs are a start, sure, but there's no substitute for having lots of scrap lumber, penny nails, and a good supply of liquor and/or gasoline to make Molotov cocktails. I'm stocked up on the liquor and duct tape from my last house party, but still accumulating the rest.
Even assuming that I somehow manage to come up with some kind of half-decent safehouse, though, there's no guarantee that someone in my rag-tag band of survivors isn't going to see a zombified relative, go Section 8 and unlock the door. If Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that people under extreme duress do goofy things like open up the front door to the walking dead.
I'm thinking of putting together a quick multiple-choice quiz to hand out to fellow survivors. It will have one question:
1) During the zombie apocalypse, you're safely behind a locked steel door. Through a gap in the barricaded window, you see a loved one staggering around with his/her face half eaten. Do you:If you liked 28 Days Later, go see this one. It has the same tense, creepy quiet to the down scenes and it's chock full o' zombie goodness.
a. Open the door and welcome him/her inside.
b. Run outside and leave the door wide open.
c. Go into hysterics and distract your fellow survivors.
d. Mourn silently and reload the freakin' shotgun.
If you answered anything other than 'd', bug off and get somebody else killed.
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